This post will help you be a happier mom by incorporating these 12 habits
It’s all too common these days to find frazzled, exhausted, and even angry mama bears who feel they are at their whits end. This is not how motherhood should feel. What things can we incorporate into our lives as moms to become the happiest and most fulfilled version of ourselves in this stage of life? Here are 12 effective habits that happy moms do to achieve just that!
These 12 habits will make you a much happier mom.
Have a creative outlet
Your creative self did not die when you became a mom…
Perhaps you even felt a surge of creativity when you became one. The beauty of bringing life into this world opens our minds to a side of us we didn’t know existed before. But as time passes the creative juice can almost disappear if we aren’t careful to guard that side of ourselves. It is important as moms to find ways to express the beauty that we see.
Maybe that is decorating your house, making floral arrangements, or even baking! Whatever expression you carry, be sure to cultivate it in motherhood. Our brains have two sides. One side is predominantly our logical brain while the other is our creative. A healthy mom is balanced in logical reasoning and emotional/ imaginative expression.
Don’t be faired to try new things either! Who knows what lies dormant inside unless you provoke that creativity once again. And how beautiful it will be as you uncover more of your creative side. New ideas, ways of thinking, and solutions will start to flow into your parenting strategies.
Here are some creative ideas for those moms who need a little inspiration
- Scrapbooking
- Pastel painting (use YouTube tutorials)
- Flipping furniture
- thrifting and selling household decor or clothing
- Photography
- Start a blog
- Write poetry or short stories
- Garden
- Bake or cook new foods to create a cook book
- Make jewelry for your friends
- Design t-shirts online or use iron on techniques
- Make YouTube videos (if your more private, make them to send exclusevly to family and friends)
Who is the boss in your home?
Many kids have formed the habit of running over their mothers like dump trucks. Moms feel powerless to control their kids and they have so much fear of “hurting their kids” if they dare to try. If this feels like you, it’s time for change. Happy moms have their lives in order, which means in the healthiest way possible, they have a grip on their children.
Children are amazing little creatures who are born with love in their eyes and joy in their hearts. This doesn’t mean they don’t also have very human tendencies to demand what they want. The problem is, children do not know what’s best for them. We, as their parents, do.
Knowing what’s best for your child and being confident in this will give you the peace and assurance you need to be able to tell your child no and stick by your word.
If you want to be happier, you must be sure the balance in your home is good and right. This means you are the boss and they are not. Miserable moms usually have this in common- their kids tell them what to do. I cannot imagine how worn out, beaten down, and just plain DONE I would feel if I allowed my kids to be my boss.
Contrary to what some may believe and preach, having our kids learn obedience is actually the best thing we can do for them. It’s not always easy and we will often find ourselves in the school of hard knocks ourselves. But moms do a disservice to the children who never truly learn to listen and obey in the home.
In fact, obedience to parents in the first commandment in the Bible that has a promise attached to it. Start here if your struggling to be a happy mom. Determine to teach your children obediance and watch peace flood your home as God supplies everything you need for this often daunting task.
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
Espesians 6:1-4
Knowing self care vs. selfish care
The saying “self care” is starting to loose its charm for me as “self worship” culture has taken advantage of its purer meaning. What is it to care for ourselves without being selfish?
Self care is putting your oxygen mask on in the airplane before your child’s so that you may stay conscious to then help them. (Hopefully you see the metaphor)
Selfish care is when you begin to put your wants before your families needs.
Becoming mom is the ultimate paradigm shift. We no longer care for ourselves more than anyone else. For the first time, as we gaze into our new baby’s shut eyes, swollen face, and tiny hands, we actually truly care for someone more than we do us. This is how God designed mothers to be. He even compared His love for Israel with that of a mother and her child.
However, sometimes mothers end up operating in this instinct to a fault. They gradually neglect their needs and before anyone even realizes it, the spark in her eye is altogether snuffed into a lifeless gaze. This is not a happy mom.
We also see the opposite end of the spectrum occur as well. Moms get to a point where they feel fed up with their life of selflessness and they drop the ball completely. They pick up selfish habits and soon their families need’s become increasingly inconvenient/ undesirable. This is not a recipe for happy mom either.
Start to find how to care for yourself in ways that bring life into your whole family. They might feel little selfish at first but look to see if these new habits end up benefiting the atmosphere of your home or not.
For me, exercise, pockets of time alone, and getting ready each day are ways I choose to “self care”. These small things make me a better mom and do not turn my focus away from my family but empower me toward them.
Move and eat
Eating healthy and staying active aren’t quite high on our priority list when we are snuggling up with a 3 week old baby. How precious those first months are. After having plenty of rest and recovery time, it’s important for moms to remember to prioritize their health. Caring for baby’s needs and neglecting our own can become a lifelong routine if moms aren’t intentional with their health.
Moms who are happy live active lifestyles and eat a balanced diet. There are thousands of ways to eat healthy and make it convenient enough for your lifestyle.
Things like crock pot meals, batch cooking, and mindful shopping can make all the difference in your life!
Exercise is such an incredible way for moms to maintain their health but in many seasons, this just isn’t an option. If it’s not for you, try to keep your lifestyle as active as possible. Even an intense cleaning session can burn as many calories as a workout.
Things like running up the stairs, playing outside with the kids, taking walks, and going on relaxing drives are all ways that keep us moving throughout the day and prevent us from sedentary/depressing days at home.
I love to watch Youtube videos about healthy meals for large families. There is a wealth of information and helpful tips out there for you to benefit from!
Set time aside to be alone and center yourself
Although we are incredibly blessed to be home with our children, it is wise to find some time to be alone. Being alone gives us time to reflect, think, and clear some space in our minds and hearts.
The quiet and noiseless times we carve out will refill our “patience buckets” which we can then pour out again. Moms might find it hard to believe they can have time alone during their busy days, but I assure you, even with 4 kids, 8 years old and under who are all homeschooled, I find ways to have little quiet moments alone throughout my day. They don’t have to be long or fancy- the point is to re-center yourself in the Lord in a quiet place where you can focus or just let your mind relax. Phones are added noise in our day, Put it down for this exercise.
Do things like…
- drinking a soda or tea outside for 5 minutes
- take a hot shower
- rock in a rocking chair in a room alone
- lay on the floor and slow your breathing
- put soaking workshop or instrumental music on in a dimly lit room
- Eat a small chocolate bar or treat alone in a quiet kitchen
Have your kids use their iPads, phones, or TV in these small moments if you need to. I reserve my kids “tech times” for the pockets in the day I know I’ll need peace and quiet. (Use those things to your advantage)
A big hang up with this one is moms who feel guilty for not spending every second of the day with their kids. You’ll have to get to a point where you realize that being a good mom does not mean being your kids entertainment. You are not a bad mom for needing times in the day to be alone.
Find your Tribe
Maintaining fellowship is so important, especially as moms. The feeling of isolation is felt by many a mother and it is not how God intended life to be.
If you don’t already have a solid community, start praying like your life depends on it! Life truly is not complete without friends whom you share your life with. As much as we’d like our little family unit to be enough, God made families within tribes. We must each find our tribe.
There are many naysayers on this topic but ask yourself- does that person seem truly happy? Do people who believe in extreme independent living seem rested? How about fulfilled? I have found that people who have a relationship with their larger family or a have strong community are happier, more fulfilled and live less anxious lives.
Here are few ideas to branch out and find your community family
- Local church weeknight gatherings
- Reach out to moms within your kid’s extra curricular activities
- Pursue your own family to strengthen the bond
- Host a book club and post it in a local Facebook group
Worry less and combat fear
It’s no secret social media has a huge influence on the modern day mom. While we have learned many fun tricks and tips along the way, we have also likely picked up a habit of subconsciously worrying about all the terrible things we see on our phones.
Does my kid have worms in their gut?
Will their iPad destroy their ability to focus?
Will my child be taken advantage of at school?
While it is our job to guide our children, it is not our job to control everything. That’s Gods. Happy moms find much peace and comfort releasing their children into the control of a Loving God. We don’t know that the future holds and we can only prepare as best as we feel led.
Media feeds off of fear and there is a plague of it going around these days. Happy moms will choose to prioritize their mental health by not allowing fear into their homes.
Marriage first, kids second
One thing that is even less common than marriage in 2024 is a happy one. Why is this?
In the modern marriage, kids are the absolute highest priority. Wives blatantly show their loyalty is with their children and not with their spouse. Husbands beckon to every whine of the child while ignoring his wife’s sigh.
Happy moms put their husbands before their kids.
I plan on having a fantastic relationship with each one of my kids, but when they begin to grow lives of their own, I want to still be enjoying mine! That means we must care for our marriages with an ever careful hand.
Prioritizing kids before one’s marriage will leave moms burnt out, lonely, and completely deprived of intimacy with their husbands. Stir up the love and start putting your husband before your kids. Here are some small, practical ways to start loving on your husband and prioritizing him above your kids.
- Stop running your kids around to 1,000 activities and start having a few evenings a week with your husband
- Go on regular dates
- Serve his food before the kids
- Talk to each other about your day and make sure the kids don’t interrupt
- Never talk badly about your husband to or in front of your kid
Too many couples find they have not tended their friendship and when the kids go to collage, they are like strangers to one another. If you want to be happier, prioritize your marriage every day!
Get as much sunshine as possible
Any excuse to get your face toward the sun is a good one. Even if it means sitting by a window while you read, get that vitamin D mama.
Studies have found that lower levels of sunlight are associated with impaired cognitive function. You can read that study HERE.
How incredible? Simply being exposed to the sun will increase something called serotonin which will make you feel happy! I am a firm believer that being happy is a choice but the sun is scientifically proven to make us FEEL happy.
Gravitate toward the sun Mamas, just don’t forget your sunscreen!
Have a good book at all times
Oh the joy of books!
You must learn to love reading if you haven’t yet. Reading is like the sun in that, it will spark joy by firing the little neurons in your brain that like to move around a lot.
Reading is like a little oasis in the middle of anywhere. As you read, your heart rate decreases, which reduces stress. Happy mom’s have discovered the joy of reading and like to have a good book on hand. Not only is it good for you but your kids will learn to love reading as they watch your example.
This blog lists some incredible reasons why reading is so good for overall mental and even physical health.
Live slower
“Slow living” might be trending but there is good reason for it. Many people today are realize that hustle culture is ruining their health.
“It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.”
Psalm 127:2
Some of you might need to evaluate how much you have on your plate. Many families put their kids in all kinds of activities and it ends up driving the parents mad. There is much to be learned in a home that allows boredom. Creative projects will suddenly arise out of a child who has time to sit with his thoughts. Passions you didn’t know you had will have time to blossom in a slower paced life.
Happy moms know its not about the quantity of what we do but the quality and therefore live slower paced lives. Let’s stop believing it’s normal for moms not to any time just because they are moms. Live slower and be happier Mama.
Rise early for daily bread
Having your first hour of the day spent in quiet time with God is absolutely essential. Yes, this means getting up earlier than the kids, which by the way is biblical..and no, it is not religious. Jesus, God’s very own Son, who had the Spirit without measure, needed times to pull away and pray. How much more, we mere human moms who have little hearts who will look to us, much like the disciples did Jesus.
We need our daily bread from heaven or we will come up starving. A starving mom is certainly not a happy one. Moms, if you want to see any real change in your happiness, you need to get with God alone in the morning. Google, “verses about the morning” and you will quickly realize how precious those early hours truly are to God.
“O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch”
Psalm 5:3
We all want to be a happy mom, whose children remember her with fondness because of her lightheartedness and ability to laugh everyday. You can be that mom. Use these 12 tips and watch everyday life become happier.
12 Effective Habits of Happy Moms
