This post is a modern wife’s take on a 1950’s “housewife guide.”
There is no debate when it comes to this- times have changed since the 1950’s. Even over the span of our own lifetimes, we have seen immense changed to society, technology, and life as a whole. What exactly has changed over the last 70s years? We get a glimpse when we read this article, by Housekeeping Monthly, issued in May, 1955. How far have we come as a society? Are the changes we see making for better and happier wives today?
Let’s take a look and see how a modern wife lines up with the 1950’s housewife.
As originally printed
“Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.”
Quality over convenience
The 1950’s housewife knew the value of her own cooking. She wasn’t focused on speed and convenience, but quality and attention. Housewives today might learn to return to the art of making dinner rather than viewing it as a daunting task everyday. It can be a fun expression of love and creativity if you allow it. Food brings the family together and this is the perfect way to do that! I do love the conveniences we have today that make dinner easier to prepare. Things like canned or frozen veggies, pre cooked meat, and crock pot meals are life savers many times. The point is to put thought and care into the food we prepare.
A warm welcome home
She was advised to care enough to think ahead about what her hard working husband would like when he arrived home. Have we lost the thoughtfulness she had? I hope not! Do we expect to be waited on after our own long day at home? Nowadays we expect equal everything which I think causes more problems than solutions. Marriage and life aren’t always equal or fair. The modern Housewife has to be careful not to fall into the trap of demanding to be served rather than serving, herself.
Times have changed
Nowadays, it seems much more rare that a husband goes out to work while the wife stays home. Now there are many more wives working outside of the home as well. This has lead to sharing the load at home, which is much more realistic if both people are working.
Many men also work from home so the flow isnt quite as traditional feeling. As long as the home is a warm and loving place for all family members, I think we are doing just fine.
“Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.”
Looking nice was an act of love
Taking time to care for her appearance was an act of love for the 1950s housewife. She cared to be beautiful for her husband, even after 15 years. This is something I think is so important and can easily slip away as our lives get busier. Rather than seeing the need to remain attractive as a demeaning demand of the patriarchy, why not see it as a way to show you love and care for your spouse? You cared when you first met, why not now?
“Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.“
We don’t like the word “duties” these days
Even I cringe a little at this suggestion but at the same time it makes me smile and laugh. I mean, it’s solid advice! Be a little happier, a little sassy, a little fun for your guy. I think over the last 70 years the housewife has been conditioned to believe that she has a demeaning and lesser role. If we stopped believing that and saw each “duty” instead as a privilege and an honor to care for our man and family, we would gladly receive the simple advice to “lift his day” with a happy attitude. Don’t we want our children to see us enjoy our life and laugh with our husbands? Invite laughter into your house by being lighthearted and “gay”!
“Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.”
We might clean more for guests than family
I can’t help but feel that the modern housewife bends backwards to prepare her house for guests, but has stopped caring so much what hubby thinks. I must say, I myself don’t care very much about the condition of the house when the Mr. arrives home. Perhaps we have become a little more “chill” and relaxed in this area. I don’t think it’s a terrible thing as long as we treat our homes with love and respect as well as each other. I also don’t see the harm in a quick tidy before anyones arrival home. I know I like to come home to a tidy house, maybe the hubby and kids do too!
“Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.”
“Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.“
Home-A haven
The housewife of the 1950’s seemed to feel extremely grateful to have a home and to be spending her days there. The “American dream” used to consist of owning your own little plot of earth and building a house to grow a family. The American dream remains the same for many today. If we are lucky enough to have a home, we should display our gratefulness in the same fashion, by making it into a haven. Home is the safest place on earth for each member of the family. Showing special affection by doing little things like, “lighting a fire” for Mr. to return to, will reinforce the specialness of having a place to call home.
Personal satisfaction came with serving
Society no longer praises selflessness but selfishness. This is particularly hard on the modern housewife because our role has remained one of servitude. If we listen to every TikTok or IG reel that tells us what we “deserve” we’ll quickly become discontent, angry, and entitled. The truth is that, “it is better to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35) I hope the modern housewife still finds personal satisfaction in bringing comfort and love to her family.
“Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.“
Playing the part feels fake
Over the last 70 years, I think the family unit has become more “raw” and “real” so to speak. We have found relatability more enjoyable than performance and competition. This hasn’t come without its quirks. Modern Dads probably come home and anticipate an overstimulated mom and kids running around the house. Perhaps some balance might do us some good. Rather than eliminating noise completely, have the kids read quietly or watch a movie while the adults unwind before dinner. Kids will be kids and I don’t think making them tidy before Dad comes home is entirely needed these days.
Dads are more aware
Modern Dads are a bit more up to par with how things run in the home. We get the feel from the 1950’s housewife that she presented and upheld an image to the world, and possibly, to her husband. Dads these days are a lot more involved with he messes, the fits, and even diapers on occasion. We can thank the advances housewives have made over the last half a century for making Dads and husbands more present and aware on the reality of all the joy and chaos kids bring.
“Be happy to see him.”
Depression was less common
Depression was considered a rare disease post World War II. These days depression is all too common for the modern housewife. This is so unfortunate and needs to change! It’s hard for wives to “be happy to see their husbands” because they are dealing with mental health issues. Whatever may be the cause, we must not let it remain. We need to pray that our joy return if it feels lost. Thankfulness is the antidote to a bad attitude. Truly, the modern housewife must do her “mental work” so that she is capable of being happy to see her husband come in the door.
“Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.”
Wife’s desired to please their husbands
Marriages are failing at a rate of 35-50% now. On the flip side, the divorce rate has dropped significantly since the 80’s. Maybe the modern housewife is again realizing that love is a sacrifice. It isn’t a get rich quick scheme. It takes hard work, brutal days of intense emotional work, and laying your life down for the betterment of the marriage. The modern housewife would benefit from this little piece of advice to be sincere in your desire to please your husband.
“Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.”
“Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home later or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.”
Spouses are more equal
Maybe the author would have worded this differently now a days to come off a little less demeaning. Perhaps she meant, TREAT his topics of conversation as more important than yours. In any case, the modern married couple do see themselves more as equals and partners in the relationship. Topics of conversation aren’t ever measured by importance. We talk and share naturally because that’s just how we see it.
We still need to be extremely understanding
The very first marriage to ever exist until the very last, will require understanding. Husbands will do things we don’t like or agree with. We have to find the balance of letting things go and also fighting for what we believe is best for the family. Having an understanding heart is like a warm blanket on a cold day. It covers the situation until it passes and can be dealt with is a peaceful way.
Confrontation shouldn’t be scary
I imagine modern wives are a little less afraid of confrontation due to our roles becoming more equal. We are a bit more inclined to speak our minds about heading to the bar after work than the 1950’s wife may have been. This probably comes with its pros and cons. Pros- we have a lot more weight when it comes to making family decisions. Cons- it comes with more contention. Each wife will have to find her balance with this and it’s not always easy. Lots of prayer is needed for a happy and healthy marriage!
“Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.”
“Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.”
“Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.“
The benefit of the doubt
There is a part of me that SO admires a woman who overlooks her husbands offenses. It says so much about her character. She is willing to overlook the worst and chooses to see the best. We all need a little bit of this if we want our marriages to thrive. AND not only to overlook his bad choice but to NOT complain about it! That’s a good woman right there! She had mastered an element of self control.
“Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.”
Taking care of the Mr.
Ooh, the lost art of caring for the Mr. The poor average modern husband would read this suggestion and think to himself…”That sounds nice. Too bad it’ll never happen.” The modern housewife would do well to spoil her husband. Treat him like a king once in a while. See what happens! Caring for our children is not optional as mothers, while caring for our husbands is. It comes with its own rewards and pleasures. Our husbands will typically think to say thank you and might even return the favor. Caring for our husbands is not babying them or treating them like children. Its showing honor, love, and thankfulness for doing everything they do.
“Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.”
The 1950’s husband was a lucky man!
Although this might be nice to do once in a while, most modern housewives are too busy to literally take their husbands shoes off. Thankfully, the modern husband doesn’t expect this kind of treatment because, again, it seems doable on occasion but to maintain a lifestyle of pampering anyone this much just sounds bougie!
“Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.”
“A good wife always knows her place.”
Woah
This sounds like nails on a chalkboard to all the “feminists” out there, I’m sure! But roles in the home were much more clear back then. The wife knew she place and the husband knew his. The man dealt with everything “serious” while the wife stayed within her budget or allowance and tended to the house and children. This meant a lot les pressure on the woman and more on the man. Because roles have equaled out a decent amount, many times the wife now carries more of the burden or “shares it.” This might cause more unnatural stress for women but we now have more freedom to question our husbands. This being said, all marriages are very different so it’s hard to make a blanket rule this intense anymore.
Where is her “place”?
Instead of, “a good wife knows her place” it’d be much better said, “A good wife imparts confidence into her husband with everything she does.” What is the “place” of a wife? It was and it remains, to be by her husbands side, no matter what. These were the vows you took when you said, “I do.” Our husband need to know we are committed to them and are faithfully theirs. This is what a good wife will do.
So how does the modern housewife measure up to the 1950’s one? Its hard to even compare them because times have changed so much. Would our grandmothers be proud of the wife we are? If you think yes, then that should bring great encouragement. The 1950’s housewife was a brave, strong, and lovely creature to behold. I personally, look up to her morals, her standards, and her dedication to her family as a whole. May we be like them in many ways and may we raise woman as strong as them too.
This post is a modern wife’s take on the 1950’s “Good Wife Guide.”
