This post is going to give the Mom who just needs a break a fresh perspective on life and motherhood.
Being Mom is not a “one hat” job. We are nurse, chef, maid, teacher, and so much more. Many of us never knew what to expect of motherhood and as we discover all this job entails, we might feel overwhelmed at times. How can we stay focused on what is most important while there is so much to do and so little time? Well, from one mom to another, here is exactly how to keep my mindset in a positive place as a very busy mom with goals, dreams, and a lots of little hearts to tend.
A fresh perspective on life and motherhood for the mom who feels like she just needs a break.
Burden Mentality
There are many reasons you might feel unprepared as a mother at times. Perhaps you weren’t taught by example or had an absent mother yourself. If you lack confidence as a mother you might resent the duties this life demand of you everyday. Do you view life as “Mom” as a burden that won’t go away? Maybe you feel the needs of your children eat away at your freedom and you can’t seem to find your joy.
Well, you aren’t broken. You’re human. Even the most Snow White, Cinderella like mother has her bad days where she feels at her whits end. The hard news is that you are going to have to rise to the occasion. You cannot put your two weeks notice in with his job. The good news is that your have everything it takes to be a good mom and love your life doing it.
Being Mom will feel like a heavy burden sometimes, but it should not feel that way often. So much of what makes us weary begins with our mentality. Leave your burden mentality for a better one. Recognize that in order to feel lighthearted, it’s our mentality that needs to shift before our circumstances.
Regain your Confidence
Moms who feel desperate for a break many times have lost confidence that they are good moms. The feeling of failure tells them that they’d be better at something else and therefore, they want to quit, They cease seeing the value in their work and loose motivation to better themselves. This is not unlike what happens to many in the corporate world.
How does one regain confidence in their mothering? Being a mother is operating in the business of LOVE. If you’ve grown cold or resentful, you need to stir up the feelings of nurturing within yourself again. Once the ball gets rolling, you’ll realize just how fit you are for the role of being a loving caretaker.
Try this simple yet effective list and watch your joy return to squash all doubts.
- Tell your kids how much you love them OFTEN
- Go on a special date with each kid individually
- Do things that invite laughter into your home
- Say yes more often/ be open to trying new things with your kids like cooking a meal or playing a game
- Minimize “afterschool activities” for more quality time / less chauffeuring
- Write future letters to your kids to give them at their weddings / graduation
- Practice slower living
- listen to podcasts or watch YouTube videos of other nurturing mothers for inspirtation
- Research child psychology
- Read parenting or child development books
Regaining your confidence will come organically as your love for your kids becomes your priority and focus. All moms know deep down that they are an incredible creature, specially designed for this role in life. Remember that and be who you were meant to be!
Recognize “Promotions”
Gaining your confidence back as a mother is a unique situation. It’s not like you can do a project, have your boss take notice of your extra hours and suddenly feel valuable again. As Moms, our promotions come in ways we least expect. Perhaps our teenager thanks us for being a good listener. Maybe its when your baby reaches out for you when he is worried. Or your little one tells the truth rather than a lie.
Start to pay attention to the little achievements you in your motherhood journey. It’s nice when someone notices but in this line of work, it’s on us to recognize if we are excelling. More than likely you are. You just need to tune into your wins.
If your children feel safe at home, knows they are loved, and can rest in your arms, you are achieving your goals with flying colors.
“Her children arise and call her blessed…”
Proverbs 31:28
Having Something to Look Forward to
The simplicity of hope is being excited about tomorrow. Being a stay at home mom can start to feel repetitive and mundane quite quickly. The danger is that we loose excitement about our day and eventually lose hope that we have an exciting life or future.
We don’t need big vacations on the calendar to get exited. We need things that “spark joy” in us enough to get off the couch. Many women have found interesting ways to turn dreams into reality even in their “at home era.” Many have even gone on to create small businesses from these little ventures.
Ambitions don’t have to play a factor here either. Simply having a library and chic- fil-a day once a month has given me something very sweet to look forward to. The kids don’t mind it either. Make a list of things that will give you excitement about life again!
Here is a small list of things to try
- learning an instrument
- taking online classes in subjects of interest
- selling clothes on poshmark
- learning to bake like a pro (breads or pastries)
- flower arrangements
- find a book club
- schedule family outings each month
- Family game nights
Fresh Bread from Heaven
The ultimate solution for a tired, worn out, and depressed mama bear is a fresh word from heaven. Get in your bible, turn that worship on a lift your hands before God. When God granted us the privilege of being a mother, his command to “have no other Gods before him” didn’t vanish. Many mothers turn their children into idols which ends up making them miserable. The reality is nothing in life is going to fill us like God will.
Your fresh perspective is waiting at the alter. EVERY time I get into a mess emotionally, I know I need to hear from God. There is nothing so sweet as a touch from heaven that lifts this life burdens and replaces it with peace and contentment.
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
matthew 11:28-30
Remember YOU are the boss
Being Mom is not a prison sentence nor your child a bossy warden. So many mothers feel they need a break because their kids dictate their lives. Our duty to serve and love our children is real but in no way should we feel the need to cater to their every whim. Things are being taught very backwards these days. Children should obey their parents, not the other way around.
Make sure you are setting the cadence, schedule, pace, and flow of your home. Your kids will, lovingly and unknowingly run you over like truck if you let them. Use their word no and stand by it. As Mom we need to learn to tap into the drill sergeant inside until order is restored. Your kids will thank you when they become adults and excel because they learned order, honor and discipline.
Think Lovely
You might not want to hear this but it’s important. You are in control of your thoughts and if you’re feeling overwhelmed or depressed, you’ve got to get your head up. Many women have had HARD hands dealt to them in life. The inspiring ones are the women who never gave up, who found hope in tragedy, and who grasped for light in darkness. Be the woman who rises to each and every occasion with strength, dignity, and an ability to laugh without fear.
“Trials of the Earth” by Mary Mann Hamilton is a book about one such woman. I highly recommend it to all women. Life changing!
Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
Phillippians 4:8
Being Mom is a chance to love deeply and unconditionally. A chance to find Gods counsel ready to speak to little hearts. A chance to build a future surrounded by children you’ve sown into over a lifetime. For the mom who needs a break, all you need is a fresh perceptive. Along the way we must take into account our mental, spiritual, and emotional state. A fresh perspective is not hard to find if we are willing and open. There is no reason we can’t live our happiest life right now!
