Let’s be entirely honest for a moment: being hot is just better.
We live in a world that tries to convince women that letting themselves go is a form of self-love. Please just stop with that.
It’s a lie. When you look in the mirror and see a ten staring back at you, your posture changes. Your energy shifts. You have more patience for your kids, more spark for your husband, and a completely different level of confidence when you walk into a room, even if that room is simply your own living room.
Remember that iconic moment in The Devil Wears Prada when Miranda Priestly completely shuts down the idea that beauty and style are just silly, shallow “stuff”?
We all need an inner Miranda to straighten us up when we start to get complacent. Because she was right…
How you look dictates how you move through the world, and more importantly, how the world treats you. Feeling beautiful isn’t vain, it’s a strength.
It is the fuel that transforms us from “tired bystander”, into the “main character” of our own lives. And our Homeschooling Mom life still deserves our best efforts.
If you are feeling a little sad and a little stale, it’s time for an immediate intervention.
Here are 11 straightforward, no-nonsense ways to get hotter by next week.
Because hot women are happy women, and happy women change their houses, and those house change the world.
1. Put on the Fake Tanner
Let’s start with the ultimate shortcut. Fake tanner does not just give you a glow; it is a new skin. It hides imperfections, contours your muscles, and quite frankly, makes you look instantly skinnier and more toned. If you are feeling pale and a little soft, slather on some bronze and watch your confidence skyrocket overnight. I actually wake up excited, knowing I’m tan and hot.
Soon you’ll find yourself saying, “I wasn’t sad…I was just pale.”
2. Flush the Fluid (Move Your Lymph)
Puffy face?
You don’t need a miracle; you need lymphatic drainage.
Your lymphatic system doesn’t have its own pump, which means if you sit around, the fluid just sits in your face and body.
Get on a rebounder, grab a jump rope, or go for a brisk, intentional walk.
The science is simple: the upward and downward G-force of jumping and walking acts as a vacuum for your tissues, flushing excess fluid out of your system. It will literally snatch your jawline and de-puff your face in thirty minutes.
30 minutes ladies! 30 minutes for a chiseled cheekbone!
3. Just Pay for the Freaking Hair Appointment
Stop canceling on yourself.
Your hair is your crown, your permanent accessory. Because you keep putting off the salon to save a buck or a block of time, your roots are growing out, your ends are dead, and it is dragging down your entire hotness potential.
4. Aggressively Manage Your Eyebrows
Your eyebrows frame your entire face. Please stop ignoring them…
If they are overgrown, sparse, or completely unshaped, your eyes look heavy and tired. Pluck them, trim them, shape them, and dye them if they’re fading into your skin, like mine do.
A sharp, well-groomed brow acts like an instant, non-surgical eyelift. Instant hotness upgrade.
5. Whitening Strips Before Bed (The Ultimate Double-Whammy)
White teeth + anti-calorie gate. We are truly getting hotter overnight.
Put your whitening strips in right after dinner. Not only are you actively making your smile brighter and more youthful, but you physically cannot eat with them in.
It completely halts the mindless late-night snacking. Fewer calories means a shrinking waist, a brighter smile means a hotter face.
It’s a flawless system.
6. Clarify, Then Hydrate
Your skin looks dull because you have a layer of dead cells sitting on top of it. Fix it tonight.
Use a heavy-duty clarifying mask to strip away the buildup and clean out your pores, and then immediately follow it up with an aggressive flood of hydration—serums, oils, and a sealing lotion
. You’ll wake up looking plumped and expensive.
Here’s what I’ve been using and loving!
(The clarifying mask I linked is something similar to what I’ve been using that has been discontinued sadly.)
7. Mandate the Mani-Pedi
Chipped nail polish and dry cuticles scream “I’ve given up.”
We are not giving up.
Whether you go to a salon or sit on your bathroom floor with a bottle of Essie, just get it done.
From head to toe, we are getting cute.
Clean, polished nails make you look like a woman who has her life entirely under control.
8. Just Choose to Be Happy
An unnecessarily sad woman is not a good look.
You can appear to be an absolute 10, but if you’re no fun to be around, who cares?
Cynicism and constant complaining add wrinkles and drain the light from your eyes.
Happiness is your greatest (and cheapest) beauty product.
Smile, lighten up, and stop letting the minor inconveniences of life steal your glow. Your family doesn’t want a martyr; they want the joyful beauty queen they deserve!
9. Dermaplane Your Face
If you are not shaving your face yet, what are you actually doing?
Get those little facial razors and remove the peach fuzz and dead skin.
It sounds terrifying until you do it once and realize your skin has never glowed like this before.
Your skincare will actually penetrate the dermis instead of sitting on hair, and your makeup will glide on like silk. Do it immediately.
10. Put your Face on
*Insert terrifying head to toe stare down from Miranda Priestly…
Please start caring. Don’t show up to work like you literally do not care. Take your motherhood career seriously or no one else will.
Throwing your hair into a matted messy bun and wearing oversized sweatpants three days in a row is depressing.
Put on a cute outfit, fix your face, look in the mirror, and take your picture. When you know you look good enough to be photographed, your entire energy changes. You’ll be a better wife, a more playful mom, and a significantly happier woman.
11. Put on a Statement Fragrance
If you smell basic, or worse, like stale Cheetos, you are dumbing down your hot potential.
Scent is tied directly to memory and emotion. Find a fragrance that feels expensive, a little dramatic, and wildly feminine.
Spritz it on even if you are just staying home. Your signature scent is like the fancy script used at the bottom of a heartfelt letter- it’s you!
As Cher Horowitz so wisely demonstrated in Clueless, a makeover isn’t just about the clothes or the hair—”it’s a spiritual realignment.” When you choose to look beautiful, you choose intentional living, investing carefully, and curating thoughtfully.
Go get hot this week.
Stay happy Mamas!
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